Are you in a relationship but you feel like your partner doesn’t quite get you?
They have no idea why you’re upset or what you really need from them?
Or maybe you can’t quite figure out what makes them tick?
Have you ever done something really special for your partner (made them breakfast, brought an expensive gift, or sent a heart-felt message for no reason other than to tell them how you feel about them) but you didn’t quite get the reaction you expected from them?
Then you start to feel unappreciated, misunderstood or unloved.
And the two of you can start to drift apart, either gradually or all at once. Perhaps through a spectacular blow-out or a mutual parting of ways, however it happens, things eventually come to an end and you’re left without your happily ever after.
Not good, right?
Not understanding each others’ needs is one of the single biggest risks to your relationship.
Not realising that – what your other-half needs from you is probably different to what you need from them, is one of the most common ways for any relationship to fall apart.
This misunderstanding will always lead to bigger problems.
When things start going wrong in any relationship (and trust me, eventually they always do), things will start getting difficult. When the honey-moon period is over and the cute little differences that once attracted you to each-other are now pet hates that are driving you apart.
Conflict and misunderstanding is inevitable in any relationship, you can’t avoid it. I’m sorry.
BUT! What you CAN avoid is a relationship breakdown as a result of this conflict.
What you CAN do is work through it. It doesn’t have to mean the end.
So how can you do that?
How can you avoid the biggest risk threatening your relationship?
Educate yourself in the language of love.
Start to learn what your partner needs from you and just as importantly – what you need from them in order to feel loved (because they’re likely to be different).
What makes you feel loved? What is your love language?
And what is your partners love language? What do you do that makes them feel loved or unloved?
Do you know?
One of the worst mistakes you can make in any relationship is assuming the other person shares the same love language as you – assuming they have the same needs.
So why is learning about love languages so important?
There are some very different love languages that we all use, and it’s likely that your partners’ is not the same as yours.
For example – You might find that receiving gifts is very important to you, but not to your partner, so they rarely go to the effort to give any gifts to you – which results in you feeling unloved.
But perhaps your partner prefers acts of service, or quality time and therefore they keep doing things for you (like chores or cooking meals) and they think that this will show you how much you mean to them – but it doesn’t!
So both of you are left feeling unappreciated, unloved and confused as to why you can’t seem to do anything to make each other happy – nothing is ever ‘good enough’.
Knowing what you can do to make your partner feel loved will not only save you time, money and energy, it will avoid so much unnecessary conflict caused from speaking the wrong love language.
Too many relationships are failing these days from something that is so easily avoidable but often over-looked or under-valued – learning the language of love.
Luckily this is something you can avoid in your relationship, by educating yourself and your partner in this area.
Some simple ways to do this that I highly recommend are:
- First thing to do (if you haven’t already) >> is take the ‘Love Languages’ testby Gary Chapman and determine your primary love language (your main needs in a relationship) and encourage your partner to do the same.
- Read his book “The 5 Love Languages” to understand more about yours and your partners love languages and begin improving your relationship.
- Attend our next event with your partner where you’ll discover:
– what makes you tick,
– what you and your partner need from each other in order to get along better,
– real ways to connect,
– and how to show appreciation and communicate in each others’ love language.
- Or if you’re not in Auckland and can’t make this event, you can take the training one-on-one from the comfort of your own home or office, send us a message below to find out how…
Don’t let misunderstanding ruin your relationship! Instead, grow together, learn together, and start speaking each others’ language.
I hope you’ve found this useful, let me know how things go – I’d love to hear from you!
If you liked this article, click the like button below to share the love.
Want inspiration at your fingertips? Follow us @InspireAffect on Facebook, Snapchat, Twitter, LinkedIn and Instagram.